Blog Reflection

Over the last couple of months, I’ve been developing this blog. This would be my fifteenth post. I’ve noticed that my writing evolved as I kept writing in the blog. At first I had a very formal approach to the blog experience. I essentially wrote an essay and then posted it on the blog. Then, as I familiarized myself with the whole blog concept, I realized that I could be less formal while still keeping an organized flow of idea. I think I was successful in achieving this. I see myself drifting even more from the whole “essay format” on this post. It should be an interesting writing experience

As I said, my blog posts were initially mere essays. Then I started being comfortable with the idea of “it’s my blog and I can do whatever I want.” Of course, that is not entirely true, since I had the professor’s guidelines to follow and the own guidelines that I imposed upon myself. I knew I could “do what I want,” but what I want includes keeping my posts and ideas organized. That is just the kind of person I am, I guess. I wanted my posts to flow and to be easy to read. I wanted my readers to not struggle with my train of thought. I have ADD and I can sometimes get carried away, like I did in the journal, so I wanted to keep it organized. What do you guys think? Did I achieve my purpose with my posts? Were my ideas clear? See, that’s another thing. I can ask readers questions on the blog and they have the ability to respond. That doesn’t happen as easily with regular essays or papers. That’s cool.

I liked writing about diverse topics and analyzing the material covered in class. It gave me an opportunity to analyze my views and opinions on diverse topics. That’s not something that I do frequently these days since all my other classes are basically math and science. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not complaining. I love math and science, but it’s nice to get the brain to ponder on ideas and not just physical concepts and numbers.

Of the whole blog experience, I particularly liked how I could add photos, post links to videos and add all other sorts of media into my posts. It allowed for better expression of ideas outside the use of words. It also helps with the mood of the post. My favorite media attachment was when I added the song that inspired the first poem that I posted on the blog. I wrote my last couple of posts while listening to music, so that might have been a precipitating factor in the media addition concept by increasing my creativity.

As I mentioned before, I also liked the fact that others can comment on my posts. I was surprised that my colleagues share and agree with the ideas that I present. Aside from commenting, people can also ask questions. This makes for a more personal experience.

Essentially, what I liked about the blog experience is that it is less structured than the essay paradigm. I can use a different kind of structure. I can make my own structure, for that matter. I liked being able to add pictures, videos and links to other sites on the web. And I really liked as well the availability of a comments feature. I’d definitely like to keep another blog in the future. It’s something that I had previously considered multiple times and this experience definitely tells me to do it.

_______________
Check out my first post here so you can see how it's different from this one.

Serving in Silence Reflection

Topic Question:  What is your reaction to this true story? Do you believe that she should have kept her secret or told it to everyone? Explain your reasons why.

The film Serving in Silence tells the story of Margarethe Cammermeyer, a woman serving in the National Guard who, after disclosing that she is a lesbian, is faced with the chances of being honorably discharged for breaking Army regulations. I have to say that I was surprised when I realized that the topic was her discrimination for being a lesbian. I had imagined that she would be discriminated, but for being a woman in general and not because of her sexuality. The movie is very good and I particularly liked how she stood her ground and did not take the easy way out the multiple times she was offered to retract her statement about being a lesbian. That must have been very hard. It is seen in the movie that it was a hard thing to go through, and not just for her, but for her family as well.

On the left is Glenn Close, the actress who played Margarethe Cammermeyer in the movie,

and on the right is the real Margarethe Cammermeyer.

(Image from http://www.etv.co.za/movies/drama/serving-silence)

Her decision to tell the truth must have also been hard. She knew the Army regulations and she knew the direction the interview was headed. She says that she told the truth because she was being honest. Whether or not she should’ve told the truth is dependent on two (or three) things: whether her goals were career centered or if they were centered on personal fulfillment. Those that live to work would definitely have not told the truth. Those that work to live might have told the truth. I say that they might have told the truth because this would vary by person. If the person is strong willed, confident and has moral support, then that person would’ve definitely told the truth. Any other person lacking any or all of these three would probably not have told the truth. I would classify myself as a work to live kind of person, but I can’t say if I would’ve told the truth. It is hard to throw oneself in the light of a conflicting issue, even if one is sure that one’s view of the matter is right. Therefore, one could easily save themselves the trouble and not tell the truth. On the other hand, movements and changes in the status quo are done by people that stand up and challenge the current ideology. In this sense, I believe that Margarethe did the right thing. She is an example and an inspiration to everyone. Yet I still can’t say that I would’ve done the same in a similar situation.

With this being said, I generally don’t like movies from the 90s or earlier (there’s just something about the look and feel that I don’t like), but it didn’t bother me with this movie. That surprised me. So, to sum up, the movie Serving in Silence is very good and I’d recommend it to anyone. It tells the story of Margarethe Cammermeyer, a lesbian in the National Guard who challenges the status quo of Army regulations regarding sexuality. It is truly an inspiring story.

_____________

Check out this interesting interview with the real Margarethe Cammermeyer:

Skit/Drama Relflection

              A few months ago, we were asked to create a drama were the main topic was discrimination. My group and I, The Pinkish Purple Panthers, decided to make our drama on discrimination towards the homeless. We specifically chose a beggar on a street light. The writing process was relatively fluid and we ended up with a drama that we all liked. We then performed it for our class and it went great. Everyone liked it and we got a good grade. A while later, we were told that we were going to be presenting/performing our drama on the Annual Student Research and Writing Conference: Student Collaborations and Contributions Across the Disciplines held at out university. At first, I was a little anxious about performing in an amphitheater, but I was able to manage thanks to my previous experience as a musician. The performance went great and it wasn’t as big a crowd as I expected.

(Image from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_improvisational_theatre_companies)

            Writing our drama was a interesting process. We first made an outline of each mayor event going through the drama and how the characters reacted. Some ideas conflicted with others, but we were able to manage them though respectful group discussions. Two of our most innovative ideas were incorporating the poem “Acquainted with the Night” by Robert Frost, and having a character whose role was to portray the thoughts of the other characters as they all froze in scene. We then began writing the actual drama. Since we are a relatively big group and hour schedules conflicted, we decided to write our drama separately and online through Google Docs. It allowed us all to write at the same time, edit and leave comments and suggestions. This was a great idea. We were also able to always have the latest version of the script available, even on our cell phones. After writing the drama, we moved on to making the props. A few days later, we had a successful performance for our class.

               Then, a few weeks later, we were told about our pending performance at the Annual Student Research and Writing Conference on the panel titled “Discrimination: Student Dramatizations and Poetry.” I can’t lie, at first I was a little anxious. I had never performed a play in front of a big crowd. But this is where my experience as a musician kicked in. I remembered that I’ve played in front of big crowds, that things have gone wrong during a presentation and nothing horrible happened, and that you just have to improvise sometimes. That last one is the one that helped me the most. I thought: the worst thing that can happen is that I forget my lines, and I can just improvise, I’ve done it before. As a musician, I’ve had to improvise a lot. It’s not just in parts of a song were you know you’re going to have to improvise a solo. Also, there were other times when people said “the other drummer isn’t going to show up, so you’re going to have to play all his pieces too;” or “hey, tonight we’re going to play this song that you’ve never heard before. Listen to it on my iPod and learn it. We’re on in 30 minutes.” So knowing that I’ve managed though situations before allowed me to lose my anxiety about the presentation. I was completely relaxed and we had another great performance.

(Image from http://www.mjkimpan.com/the-show-must-go-on/)

                Writing our own drama was a very good experience. We were able to work as an efficient team in writing our drama. We came up with innovative ideas and I was able to overcome my anxiety. Through our drama, we delivered a good message about discrimination that was hopefully well received by the two audiences that witnessed our performance. 

Literary Contest Reflection

My experience on the Forty-Eighth Annual Literary Contest was different than I had expected. I decided to write  a short story about a mountain biker riding a trail for the very first time, as he recalls the lessons he’s learned while mountain biking. I changed my mind and ended up writing the topic as a poem. Even though I didn’t win, I’m satisfied with my personal achievement in being creative and expressing my ideas.

As for my writing process, I first outlined the ideas for the topic and then began writing my first draft. Almost immediately, I thought of writing a poem of the same topic. I felt like the poem allowed me to better portray my message, since I saw the short story turning into a fable. That was not the direction that I wanted to go in, so I decided to make a poem. I went through numerous drafts and ended up reducing the new trail experience to just one stanza, then having one stanza for each of the three lessons learned, and then one stanza summing up the entire poem and giving closure to the message.

I feel like I did a good job. I like my poem and I find that it has good literary value. I didn’t plan on winning, nor did I set it as a goal. Still, since I saw it as a good poem, I wouldn’t have been surprised if I won. I was not surprised nor negatively affected by the fact that I didn’t win. I’m still happy that I was able to express how I feel about mountain biking and be creative.

_____________

Click here to read my poem entry for the Forty-Eighth Annual Literary Contest.

The Mountain Biker with Good Vibe | My Poem Entry for the Forty-Eighth Annual Literary Contest

The first time at a trail is always an enlivening experience.

The mountain biker does not know what comes after every turn.

It is a mystery and a delightful surprise.

Even a hill is welcomed by the mountain biker with good vibe.

So he gets there, hungry for life.

The mountain biker makes his way through the trees

Without the need to cut them down

Each root, rock, turn, climb and downhill is a challenge.

He can’t always have straight, flat paths.

The challenge is what makes it worthwhile.

When going down hills, physics is king

There is just no way to trump gravity.

Brake too hard, and he’ll surely lose control.

Brake too soft, and he’ll surely hit a tree.

Balance is definitely key.

The mountain biker is at peace with nature.

He moves fluidly so as to not hit the trees;

Or worse, the ground.

The trees don’t mind, they hardly feel a scratch.

But the mountain biker will surely feel more than a scratch.

The mountain biker flows with nature,

He works with gravity,

He overcomes every obstacle,

And they all reign supreme.

He is the mountain biker with good vibe.

___________

In case you are unfamiliar with mountain biking, watch this video. The video is not mine, but its at one of my favorite trails at my favorite mountain bike park in Bayamón, Puerto Rico. Also, listen to it with some good headphones because the music is also awesome. 'Gotta love Pink Floyd...

After watching the video, read the poem again. Your mental picture and understanding of it might change.

Untitled | Poem from Journal Activity

Why can’t I turn the page?

A happy ending is all I crave…

Or, at least, a happy middle?

I want a chance, a chance to try,

To not feel like we failed before we tried.

Like a man in a desert,

I walk in despair,

Seeking refuge behind the gates.

Are they closed?

I don’t have the key for such locks.

Far, shines the sun, but not so far away.

A second chance is all I crave.

Can I transcend or must I replace?

Will I find an oasis and rest?

___________

This poem evolved from two journal entries. I began the first journal entry with a quote from the song below. The song is "Not Done Yet" by SOJA and the quote is: "It's just this feeling I get. It's like I'm not done yet."

P.S. To my surprise, I was able to transcend by writing this poem,

"...women are used to worrying over trifles.”

                “Well, women are used to worrying over trifles.” This quote is very important in the drama “Trifles” by Susan Glaspell. In the drama, it can be seen how women a discriminated for the mere act of being women. Their opinions are not valued since they are not seen as smart or capable of doing anything. However, the women are the only ones in the drama that are able to solve the mystery that gathers the characters together. Because they are seen as invaluable in the men’s work, they’re able to hide what they found and the fact that they might have solved the mystery.

(Image from https://www.papermasters.com/trifles-susan-glaspell.html)

                As a brief summary, “Trifles” tells the story of three men (George, the county attorney; Mr Peters, a sheriff ; and Mr. Hale, a neighbor) and two women  (Mrs. Peters, the sheriff’s wife; and Mrs, Hale, the neighbor’s wife) who go to a house where the man, Mr. Wright, has been murdered. The man’s wife, Mrs. Wright, is distant and seems very indifferent. The men are there to investigate the crime and are not able to find any incriminating evidence throughout the whole drama. The women, however, are left alone and they find a dead canary hidden in a box. With this finding, they imply that Mrs. Wright is the killer. They decide not to tell the men of what they found and hide the evidence. The story ends with the men thinking there is no incriminating evidence.

                The irony of the story is that the women, whilst worrying over trifles, i.e. looking for some scissors so as to fix Mrs. Wright’s bad sewing, are the ones that find incriminating evidence towards who the murderer is. The women chose to hide their findings. They chose to “stick with their own.” Both women understand that Mrs. Wright was living under hard conditions and they also understand her decision to kill him, if that was the case, since women were oppressed. Mrs. Hale even feels sorry for not being there for Mrs. Wright and offering emotional support. She says “We all go through the same things… We live close together and we live far apart.” This line represents how women knew they were not alone in their problems pertinent to their husbands and female subordination. It also represents how there wasn't an organized women’s rights movement at the time. However, the two women chose to protect a fellow woman in a time when they were not valued.

(Image from https://dramachicks.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/playwright-spotlight-susan-glaspell/)

                It is this same fact (that women are not valued) that causes men to reject women’s opinions and overlook women’s actions. This allows the women to hide the dead canary without anyone noticing. George, the county attorney, even says “a sheriff’s wife is married to the law” about Mrs. Hale. This is done when Mr. Hale asked if George wanted to take a look at the objects (among which was the dead canary) that Mrs. Hale was taking with herself. Thus, the women are able to conceal the incriminating evidence thanks to the fact that the men thought that women only cared about things that where unimportant, which made them think that the objects that Mrs. Hale carried were unimportant.

                Summing up, the women were overlooked for “worrying over trifles.” Ironically, they find incriminating evidence to Mr. Wright’s murder by “worrying over trifles.” The fact that they are overlooked allows them to hide the evidence of Mrs. Wright as the possible murderer. The women thus form a pseudo-group so as to protect themselves from their oppression.

Click here a definition for the word "trifle."

The '60s (Part 2)

The second part of the documentary started with the song “Sunshine of Your Love” by Cream on the background. This immediately got me “pumped.” I love that song. I played it on drums a couple of times a few years ago and I remember the amazing energy between my band mates and myself when we played it. So you know what I’m talking about, play it on the link below.

Now, this part of the documentary is seldom free of discrimination. I mentioned on the first part of this entry how the hippies did not discriminate against black people. However, black people discriminated against the hippies. They saw them as pot smoking freeloaders. It is seen in the documentary how black people even discriminated against black hippies. But black people were not the only ones that discriminated against the hippies. White people participated in this discrimination as well and saw them the same way. There were violent engagements between hippies and policemen during the hippies’ protests against the war effort.

Another type of discrimination seen in the documentary is towards the gay community. Gays were not allowed to participate in the military even if they wanted to. Some white men even pretended to be gay so as to evade going to war when they were called upon for mandatory service.

Yet another type of discrimination was seen between religions. This conflict is veiled between the love story of a young couple throughout both parts of the documentary. The girl is Jewish and the boy and his family are Catholic. It is not until the end of the documentary that we see how this conflict is solved when the boy’s family accepts her and they all play football in the house’s front yard.

This ending provided an unrealistic sense of accomplishment, giving the era a feeling of a “happy ending” when this is not entirely true. There has been great progress towards equality, yet discrimination is still existent today, 50+ years later. Since then, more types of discrimination have emerged and others have become less intense. There is still a long way to go towards an equal and discrimination free world, but we are on our way and it is up to us to make it happen.

The '60s (Part 1)

For the next two entries, I will be writing about the documentary “The 60s.” It is a two part documentary, so logically, I will divide my entry into two parts. However, I might mention things from the second part on this entry or from the first part on the second entry. But I digress, the documentary is very good. It portrays the essence of that period in time, the 60s.

(Image from http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/doblaje/images/b/b5/The60sposter.jpg/revision/latest?cb=20130227110523&path-prefix=es)

The time and people might have been optimistic, but it wasn’t all perfect. There was a lot of discrimination. Some of that discrimination even led to violence. For example, white people, even police men, discriminated and were violent towards black people. It is seen in the documentary how a group of black people is peacefully protesting and claiming their equal rights, when a white police man comes in to end the protests and, after peaceful opposition from the group’s “leader,” he threw a punch at the “leader.” Most black men did not respond violently by the hate crimes directed towards them. However, they didn’t all feel that way. In the documentary, it can be seen how a black kid wishes to reciprocate violence with violence. His father, also a black man, explained to him that peace was the way to obtain their equality. His father was later killed as a result of a hate crime. This did not cause the son to steer away from the path of peace. It can be seen on part 2 that the black kid (the son) grew up to be a charitable man who made a difference without the need for violence.

Discrimination from white people to black people was not the only one present. Black people also discriminated towards white people. Some blamed all of their misfortunes on every one that was white. A black man publicly stated that everything that happens to black men is because of white men. This is certainly not true. It is seen at the beginning of the documentary how some white people support the equal rights movement of the black people. As another example, the hippies (predominantly white) did not discriminate towards black people. However, the hippies did receive discrimination as well. I will discuss more on the hippies on part 2 of this entry.

There was also discrimination towards new ideas and new life styles. For examples, one of the girls in the documentary starts taking birth control pills and his father doesn’t agree and frowns upon his daughter. Another girl has a “one night stand,” after which she becomes pregnant. Her father is irrational when he learns the news. He says that she brings shame upon their family. She ends up running away from home and joining a hippie commune. She has a hard time surviving on her own and taking care of the baby. At the end, the girl and her dad mend fences and “live happily ever after.”

This ending gives the story a false sense of accomplishment. This type of discrimination is still seen today; but more on the ending on the next entry. I will finish by summing up how the era was essentially full of discrimination from and towards many demographics. Other types of discrimination will be discussed on the second part of this entry. Stick around.

My Journal Experience

For the last two months, I have been writing a journal. The purpose of the journal was to explore my creativity and myself. The main rule was to write for 10 minutes a day five times a week. As of now, two months later, I've written a total of 41 entries and one activity. The writing process has been an interesting journey. I've written about many things but they can all be categorized into a certain set of topics. I was able to express myself and express thoughts on paper that I might have never expressed out loud. In writing these sorts of things, I gained insight into myself. There was a particularly emotional subject and writing about it allowed me to overcome the situation.

(Image from http://margorabb.com/news-events/page/2/)

I've written about my day-to-day life, my opinions, my work, my studies, my stress, my training,  my personal frustrations and about some emotional situations. There are also a couple of entries without a central topic. They are just direct anecdotes about the thoughts that passed through my mind at the time. At first, my writing didn't “flow” very well. Even though I didn't stop writing to think about what I was going to write next, I did think about it as I wrote. Later on, my writing was very instinctive and my hand just moved, writing down the thoughts that passed through my mind. At first, I wanted to keep each journal entry enclosed in a certain topic. So I guess that’s why I’d think about what to write next, so as to not get side tracked. But then, as I kept writing, I wrote about whatever came to my mind at the moment and I usually didn't have time to sidetrack back into what I was saying. So on many occasions, I’d start writing and thinking that I was going to write about something specific, and end up writing about something else.

In a couple of entries, I naturally began rhyming and writing my sentences as if it were a poem. In a couple of other entries, I also had a few “funny sections” where I’d just write something that at least I’d think was funny. These kinds of things enhanced my creativity and allowed my ideas to flow. The flow of ideas is very important in the field of engineering, which is my major, and now I’m able to express my ideas as soon as they “pop” into my head without giving them a lot of thought. It might seem counter intuitive since you might just say something "stupid", but that’s part of the creative process in a group.

In writing, I learned hidden motivations, worries and insecurities that I might have played around with earlier but I never faced them directly. Since I had to keep writing, I was forced to confront these things that I had previously evaded. The idea that no one will ever read my journal is what allowed me to keep writing about these subjects. It was actually very liberating to get them off my chest and into writing. These made them real and not an abstract idea in my mind. By making them real, I was able to confront them. That, to me, is the most valuable thing gained from writing my journal.

There was a particularly emotional subject about which I wrote on two consecutive days followed by writing about it on the journal activity that I mentioned before. Writing about the subject allowed me to overcome the situation. I had been carrying the issue for a long time, so it’s a reel relief that I was able to overcome it. I had always thought that writing about it or sharing with a friend might have helped. Sharing with a couple of friends didn't help and I never got to the task of writing about it. Then, one day, I just began writing about it, and the next day as well. To me, it was unexpected and quite a relief.

I liked the experience of writing a journal and I’d like to keep doing so. However, I probably won’t, at least not immediately. I’ll probably write in the same manner from time to time, when I feel like I need to write and get something off my chest. But it will probably not be part of my day-to-day routine. I’d still recommend the journal writing experience to anyone interested in exploring who they are, and interested in achieving a more natural flow of ideas.

The Underlying Conflict of Class Struggle in "A Room with a View"

The 1985 film “A Room with a View,” based on E.M. Foster’s 1908 novel of the same name, presents the situation of a young woman, Lucy Honeychurch, who does not wish to live by society's standards and expectations. This is seen from the beginning of the film, but her desire intensifies when she falls in love with George Emerson, a man who is below her social class. Lucy, leaving her moment with George behind, then accepts to marry Cecil Vyse, an upper class gentleman. This gives rise to the conflict of class struggle and discrimination. The difference in social classes is seen through the character’s attires, their houses and the activities that they enjoy. The social class discrimination is an underlying conflict in the story and it has great influence in Lucy’s decisions.

(Image from http://blogs.indiewire.com/thompsononhollywood/trailers-from-hell-gets-a-room-with-a-view-20150309)

                At first, while Lucy vacations in Italy, the class difference between her and the Emersons is not so clear. The distinguishing act is when Mr. Emerson calls out that it’s illogical for Lucy and her chaperone, Charlotte, to uphold such social niceties by not accepting the room with a view when the girls want it and the Emersons don’t. The fact that they are both staying in the same hotel means that they must be more or less in the same social class. Thus, both could be classified in the middle class. The distinction is made clear when Lucy returns to England and Mr. Emerson then moves to England. Lucy lives in a big, lavish house, while Mr. Emerson moves in to a small villa. This distinguishes Lucy as belonging to the upper middle class and the Emersons as belonging to the lower middle class. Another clear distinction is seen through their modes of transportation. Lucy’s primary vehicle is a horse-drawn carriage, while George’s primary vehicle is a bicycle. When we introduce Cecil into the comparison, the distinction between classes is even clearer. Cecil belongs to the upper class. It is most clear through his attire and his attitude. He is pretentious and dislikes Lucy’s town. Cecil is always wearing very extravagant clothes. He wears mainly a fine suit and tie, while George mainly wears ragged casual pants and a shirt. Lucy’s attire is somewhere in the middle between Cecil and George, but leaning more towards Cecil’s extreme.

                Each character’s actions are also clear indications of what social class they belong to. For example, both Cecil and George attend to the same lake at the different moments. When Cecil attends, he is very quiet and reserved, as always, and does not even consider going in for a swim at the lake. On the other hand, when George attends the lake, it is with the intention of going in for a swim. He goes with Lucy’s brother and Mr. Beebe and they all play, splash the water and run around the lake. This sort of behavior is too foolish for Cecil’s upper class. Another clear distinction is seen when Lucy, George and others are playing tennis while Cecil stands idly by reading a book. When George leaves and Freddy asks Cecil to join them, Cecil refuses and proudly admits to being only good for books, as if such activities were beneath him.

                The presented distinctions in looks and behavior evidence the social class discrimination seen in “A Room with a View.” This underlying conflict is an important factor in Lucy’s decision to end her engagement with Cecil and in her ultimate decision of allowing herself to love George. Cecil saw Lucy as a possession and a prize to show off, while George really loved her for who she was. Lucy realized that she didn’t want to be sucked into Cecil’s upper class manners and traditions, and that what she really wanted was Cecil’s genuine and humble love; thus evidencing the underlying conflict of class struggle.

My Identity and My World View

Topic Question: Which aspects of your identity influence the way you see things? Explain.

Upon reading excerpt of “On Looking” by Alexandra Horowitz, I began to see more clearly how my identity influences the way I see things and the way I see the world. Horowitz establishes two mayor points. The first one is that paying attention is the act of ignoring everything except for one particular thing. This is a very interesting thought, one that I most certainly agree with. The second point she presents is that a person’s profession influences how they see the world around them. This theory can be extrapolated to how a person’s identity, not just his or her profession, influences how they see the world around them. So, how do these two points relate? The second point says that our identity influences how we see the world, while the first point says that paying attention is ignoring everything else. Therefore, our identity creates natural filters that block out what we don’t see. They only allow the things of our interest to pass through. I found it very easy to see how my identity influences the way I see the world. I was also able to contrast my point of view from the point of view of a close friend of mine.

(Image from http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/15803166-on-looking)

                I will begin by using myself as an example. My passion for cycling influences my everyday life. When I walk around, I see the streets and automatically check if they are in “ride-able” conditions. If I see a big hill, I say “wow, that’s a daunting challenge.” I also love nature and this influences my everyday life as well. When I’m out on the world, I pay close attention to the scenery. When I’m on my bike, I often stop to take pictures of the road and the landscape that lies before me. Now, as an engineering student who loves math and science, my mind is often occupied deciphering the physics and the mathematical equations of the everyday objects or situations I encounter. When I ride my bike, these are the kind of thoughts that are with me some of the time. I like it, but at the same it’s a burden because I find that I’ve unconsciously lowered my pace when I am supposed to be training and maintaining a good, challenging pace. Also, the fact that I’m studying engineering gives me an overall problem solving approach to things. When I see a problem, I see it as something that needs fixing and I look for the most efficient alternative. Aside from this, my overall introverted personality affects my everyday life as well. If I’m going to sit somewhere, I look for a quite spot, somewhere without much noise where I can have a moment for myself. If that place is near a tree or an overall natural environment, it’s even better. I also steer clear of big crowds.

                This particular characteristic provided for a good juxtaposition with my friend’s point of view. He is an extrovert and he goes in for the big crowds. He is comfortable talking with strangers and expressing his opinions, while I require a certain level of intimacy to fully show who I am.  When he sees a big crowd, he sees an opportunity to express himself. When I see a big crowd, I see and overwhelming situation that after five minutes of talking, I know I’m going to be dreading my decision of joining the crowd. Even more, this friend of mine is studying architecture and he has a latent passion for the art. When we walk around, he talks to me about all the buildings, what year they were built, what style they belong to, what year were they remodeled, whether or not he likes them, and so on. These sort of things are the ones that I filter out. After a couple of walks and talks with my friend, I can consciously see a building and say whether I like it or not. But that is as far as I go. If I’m not looking for it, I ignore it. However, he naturally observes the buildings the same way that I look for the science that governs everyday situations.

(I took this picture several months ago on a day that I met up with my friend in Old San Juan, Puerto Rico. That day included one of the typical talks that I mentioned. I took this picture so as to remember the architecture of Old San Juan that was the topic of our discussion.)

                Through this juxtaposition with my close friend, I was able to more clearly determine how my identity influences the way I see the world. If not, I might have thought that everyone sees things more or less the same way I do. I was also able to identify one of the filters that my identity has created so as to pay attention to other things while ignoring the rest. These are the two mayor points presented on Alexandra Horowitz’s “On Looking.” I was able to establish my love for cycling, math, science and engineering, as well as the fact  of my introversion, as deciding factors in how I see the world around me.

Identity

     I think of my identity as the things that encompass who I am. There are many parts to this definition. The following questions come to mind: Where am I from? What do I like? What do I like to do? How do I like doing things? A segment from an Aristotle quote says “we are what we repeatedly do…” On this I based my opinion of my identity. This, however, is not completely true. What we repeatedly do shapes our present and future. Thus, it follows that what we did in the past and what happened in the past shapes our present. Upon reading an excerpt from “Identity” by Peter Roberts, my definition of the subject greatly widened. The overall scientific approach to the subject of identity intrigued me. Roberts distinguishes multiple key factors in the subject of identity. For example: origin, language, sameness and differences . Even though it can be a great definition for the identity of an entire group of people as a whole, I consider this to be an incomplete definition for an individual’s identity.

     I’ll illustrate this by using myself as an example. I am from Puerto Rico. I have light brown skin. I speak Spanish as a first language and English as a second language. I was raised catholic, even though now I don’t have a religious denomination. I am not affiliated to any political party. This covers the essentials in origin, language, sameness and differences. This definition automatically bestows upon me, whether by inclusion or exclusion, the stereotypical characteristics of group of similar people to whom I “belong.”

     As I mentioned, this seems to me an incomplete definition of my own identity. In order to know who I am, other aspects of myself must be considered. Here is where my original definition comes to mind (first paragraph, third sentence). I like cycling, music, math, science, engineering, nature, and many other things. These are the things that I “repeatedly do.” Each of these things contains within itself, or as a combination, the things that make me who I am. Cycling allows me to be introspective and competitive. It challenges me, gives me confidence and humbles me. It allows me to see nature and landscapes from a completely different perspective. Music is incredible. The feeling of playing and listening to a song is ineffable. When I can relate to a song, I know that I’m not the only one with a specific feeling, idea or thought. Music is also math. When I see a drum sheet music, I see fractions. Time is divided into intervals where I’m either supposed to play or not play. Math ceases to amaze me. I love that such a pure and abstract language can be used to model our world and its behavior. Seeing the world through the eyes of science is also amazing. Chemistry and physics have opened my eyes to many things. Physics has turned my bike rides into constant pondering of the physics behind my actions. I think I cycle smarter and not just harder because of it. Engineering is the application of math and science into the problem solving and invetions of the real world. That, to me, is a great power of creating things.

This is me riding at Cerro Gordo MTB Trail (my second favorite trail). In case you're not used to seeing cyclists, yes, we all wear tight lycra/spandex.

     These are only what I like. What about how I like to do things? It can be generally summed up into the fact that I’m introvert. Still, I’ll discuss further into what I consider the most important aspects. I’m a generally shy person until I acquire a certain level of confidence with a person or group of people. I generally don’t like small talk. I prefer talking about a specific topic of interest. I like to think before I act, whether this may be good or bad. I like taking my time before making a big, or even small, decision. Stepping outside of the introvert characteristics, I’m also a perfectionist. This, however, is not a completely dominant characteristic. For example, my room is mostly a mess when I’m busy and have a lot of things in my mind. When I have a clear head, I naturally get the desire to tidy up the room. Sometimes I even reorganize it and change everything from its original place. These are only some of the things that specify how I like to do things.

     Summing up, origin, race/color, language and sameness/differences are not enough to define my identity. What I like to do and how I like to do things are also very important factors into the definition of identity.

Patience

(Image from http://www.nasdaq.com/article/patience-is-not-standard-entrepreneurial-equipment-cm401356)

     The Use of Force by William Carlos Williams tells the story of a doctor who goes on a house call to check a young girl with questionable symptoms. As the doctor begins to examine the girl, she is very resistant. For this, she is called a “brat.” To her stubbornness, the doctor loses his patience. Throughout the story, the theme of patience is presented. At first, the doctor is patient with the stubborn girl, as well as her parents. The parents begin to lose patience first but try to maintain their decorum. They scold the girl respectfully and ask her to cooperate. The doctor is the first one to completely lose his patience.

     The doctor has mixed feelings towards the girl. On one hand, he says that she is attractive, and on the other, he can’t handle her stubbornness anymore. When the doctor loses his patience, he even yells at the parents. This was surprising to me. The doctor seemed so calm and decorous that his behavior was quite unexpected and added an interesting twist into his already peculiar personality. He then seeks to force her into submission for the examination. He creates excuses for his actions. He says that it’s for the girl’s own good and for the good of society. However, he still recognizes that he is doing it out of joy. It is at this point that the girl starts yelling and the mother becomes stressed. She yells for them to stop holding the girl. Then, the father loses his patience as well and tells the mother to leave. They hold down the girl and find out that she had been lying about not having a sore throat. Now the girl loses her patience and attacks the doctor, crying while she does it. The girl had also been struggling with maintaining her patience. She was lying and trying to get away with it. In general, they all eventually lost their patience and depended on “the use of force” to get what they wanted.

     Throughout the story, the entire family struggles with their patience. They eventually all end up losing their patience and reacting harshly. The mother, however, is the one who stays more in control. The doctor’s loss of patience was the most unexpected. As a doctor, he is expected to be able to handle those kinds of situations in a professional manner. He, however, was not able to do so, lost his patience and let his animalistic instincts take control of his actions in order to get what he wanted. There are many stressful situations in which one can easily lose one's patience. However, we must always try our hardest to stay in control, especially in professional situations, in order to have civil interactions.

__________

If you have not read the story, you can find it here.

Prejudice and Obligation

     The film “Running Brave” is about a native American, named Billy Mills, born on a reservation who is an incredibly good runner and gains admission to a University and its track/cross-country team. Upon leaving the reservation, he must go fight against a prejudiced society in order to obtain success both as a runner, in his career, and in his personal life. This is not the only obstacle laid in front of him. He also struggled having to run as an obligation and not for just as something he did for fun.

(Image from http://www.runningpast.com/billy_mills.htm)

     Throughout the entire movie, the viewer can see how Billy confronts a prejudiced society. In the beginning of the film, it is seen how a man from the team diminishes Billy Mills just for being an Indian and doesn’t want him on his team even though Billy set a course record on the particular course in which he was tested for admission. Later on, his team mates don’t respect him only because he is an Indian. One night, a guard at the university is very disrespectful to Billy when the guard finds him, assumes he’s an intruder because of his race and says that he can’t be in the university grounds. Billy says that he is a student and the guard follows him to the dorm for an ID.

     I cannot say that I’ve lived or experienced situation similar to what Billy experienced. I’ve lived my entire life in Puerto Rico and, being only 19 years old and a native, I have not been prejudiced for my race. However, I still have experienced another form of prejudice. It has happened to me multiple times and it is due to my age. Sometimes, when going to store, the employees haven’t treated me as a serious costumer. I imagine they think “Oh, this is just a poor student. He’s not going to spend any significant money in here.” And that’s if I’m lucky, because they might think something worse like that I’m a degenerate or a delinquent. So they don’t pay attention to me and neglect me as a costumer. Most of the time, I don’t spend much money. The truth is that I’m a student shopping, for example, at a pharmacy. What sort of big purchase do they expect? However, I am still a costumer and, above all, a human being who deserves attention and respect. This might be a small thing, but it really bothers be, especially since I’m a serious person who goes in with serious intentions of buying something or requesting a service only to come to be undermined because of my young appearance.

     The second obstacle I mentioned is how Billy began to dread running as an obligation. He had always loved to run. However, being obligated to do so, and particularly while being surrounded by such a prejudiced environment, it did not make for an enjoyable experience. I believe that any experience (be it a hobby, a passion, or anything else) can cease to be an enjoyable experience once one is forced to do it. This was one of the “cons” when I was considering studying music after graduating high school. I love playing but for me it’s more of a hobby, a way to relax and get away. Having it as job might have been stressful because of the obligation of having to play even if I don’t feel like it. Not to mention the possible stress of the precarious economic situation of such a career. Another similar situation occurs between me and cycling. I love to ride my bike and I even go to races every now and then. I always try to be better and to go faster, but I don’t think I’d be able to maintain a formal training as would be required if I would be on a team. I ride when I want to ride. I ride how long and how fast I feel like riding. If I’m tired, I’m probably not going to ride (unless I’ve already made plans with someone, because I’m not going to “leave them hanging”). If I were to be on a similar situation like Billy, were for example I’d be offered a  cycling scholarship at my university,  I’d probably not accept it unless I’d need it for economic reasons.

     I was able to identify with the conflicts that Billy faced in the movie. Living in a prejudiced society is the least compatible with my life experiences. I could only relate to being prejudged for my young age/appearance. The most compatible conflict present on the movie was how Billy struggled with running once it became a chore and an obligation instead of something that he just loved to do for the fun of it. Being a musician and a cyclist, I was able to relate to his struggle.